ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
