I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
