the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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