Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
