Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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