There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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