i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
