I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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