just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I could fuck to npr.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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