3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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