She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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