I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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