So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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