He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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