you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
