census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
