Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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