its not stalking. its research.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
