it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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