Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
