Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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