Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
