We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
