Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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