this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
