please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize