is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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