I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
