i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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