i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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