I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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