Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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