Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
