Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
