I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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