Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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