Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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