Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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