HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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