xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
