that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
