Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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