remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
