Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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