I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
