he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
