He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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