Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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