Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
