The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
