Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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