Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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