absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
