found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
