Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was confusing and full of hummus
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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