I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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