Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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