I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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